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World
financial markets were rocked today, following several announcements from a
South American President. President Ugo Chuvit, of Ivantitalla, made 3
proclamations this morning.
1. Ivantitalla, the world's fifth largest exporter of oil,
will no longer accept US dollars for payments of resource exports. Effective
immediately, oil and other resources may only be paid for in physical gold or
silver. The USA
imports about 60% of Ivantitalla's daily exports of
about 2 million barrels of oil per day. President Chuvit
said "We will no longer accept the depreciating paper currencies of the USA and other
countries for our oil resources. We export $200 US million worth of oil each
day. If the USA
wants our oil, they must pay us in gold or silver, at market rates. Payments
of gold and silver must be delivered to us before our oil leaves our country.
In order for the same amount of oil to keep flowing to the USA, they
must deliver $120 million in gold or silver each day. If the USA can't pay
for our oil, we have other customers who will be happy to take their
place."
2. President Chuvit nationalized all gold, silver and other mines in
his country this morning. Armed forces took control of 11 operating mines,
all foreign owned. President Chuvit said "The
gold, silver and minerals in the ground beneath our feet belongs to every
man, woman and child of Ivantitalla. It is time to
enrich our people with our resources, and not the greedy shareholders of
other countries. Why should our people suffer and grow thin, while the
foreigners take our precious resources away and grow fat? As of this morning,
the mines are owned by our Central Bank. We will determine the present value
of the mine's equipment and infrastructure, and compensate the foreign
companies fairly. I would like to encourage all foreign staff currently
working in our mines to continue working here. To show you our appreciation
for your future efforts, we will pay you a monthly bonus of 25% of your wages
tax free, in gold coins, which you may take out of the country if you
wish."
3. President Chuvit declared the issuance of a new currency, the Bullivar, and a return to a gold standard for money. Effective
immediately, all holders of Ivantialla's bank notes
may go to a local bank, and exchange their current money for newly issued
bank notes, which are fully redeemable for gold. You may exchange old bank
notes for the new bank notes until the last day of this month. After that,
the old bank notes are cancelled, worthless and non-redeemable for the new
bank notes. The new bank notes drop 3 zeros from the old ones. For every
1,000 old Bullivars, you will receive 1 new Bullivar. You will still be able to use debit cards and
credit cards for convenience. There is no need to convert your funds on
deposit, as they have already been converted to the new currency.
Chuvit stated "Our total M2 money supply is
worth about 18 billion Euros. We have been aggressively buying gold over the
past 3 years, and now hold over 1300 tonnes of gold in our Central Bank. Much
of our gold has come from the sales of other Central Banks. Our gold reserves
are currently worth more than 100% of our existing total money supply. Most
of our gold is in 400
ounce bars, and audited monthly. You may view an
inventory of each bar's serial number at our Central Bank's website. We have
minted new gold coins, in 1/10th, 1/5th and one ounce weights, and hold about
50 tons of gold coins. These gold coins are available at all banks and you
may redeem your new bank notes for gold coins or small bars. Our gold
resources will continue to climb, as foreigners must pay us in gold or silver
for any of our resources that they buy. We will also continue to add to our
above ground resources by mining our underground resources. Our currency is
now just as strong, stable and valuable as gold is. There are only 5 other
countries in the world that hold more gold than us, even though their money
supplies are thousands of times larger than ours. We are the only country on
the Gold Standard.
It is time for our people to prosper. We have a country rich in resources
needed by others. These new changes will start a golden new age of prosperity
for all of us. There will be new schools, hospitals, roads and
infrastructure."
World financial markets reacted swiftly to the news. Gold has shot up $105 to
$969.00 per ounce, and silver has soared up by $5.50 to $20.86 per ounce. Oil
traders are scrambling to find and buy physical gold and silver. Futures are
also soaring higher, as many oil traders are buying distant future
gold/silver contracts at today's prices, and planning to take physical
delivery of their gold contracts in order to pay for their future oil needs. Oil
prices rocketed up $12.50, to $112 per barrel, from fears of a supply
disruption of about 1 million barrels per day into the USA from Ivanitalla.
Famed financier Georgie Auros,
based in Singapore,
stated: "This changes everything. You can't print gold the same way you
can print money. By introducing a gold standard, I expect Ivantilla
to prosper, while all other countries continue to lose purchasing power from
their fiat currency debauchment wars. I expect other South American countries
to soon follow Chuvit's example, as other South
Americans demand that their leaders make the same changes. I am bullish for
the long term on Ivantitalla's new fundamentals,
and have already taken a large position on their stock market."
Ivantitalla's stock market responded today by
soaring 8%, its largest daily gain ever.
Paolo
Rigoni
Disclaimer:
This is a fictional news story, published purely for
your entertainment.
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