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GREAT JOKE, SAD TO BE SO TRUE
Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium
(symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an
atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons,
which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no
electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every
reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally
take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has
a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes
a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and
deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's
mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion
leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium
is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical
quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money,
Governmentium becomes Administratium
(symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice
as many morons.
The above is not my original creation, the rest is
my addendum. If the above does not make you laugh as much as cry inside, you aint human. The missing portion of the substance known as
corruptium, which leads to radiated energy
into channels almost entirely into the power source, once damaged heavily by
exposure to light, but now covered by czar
tissue.
Jim
Willie CB
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