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There is a silver
lining to every snowstorm – getting to know your neighbors both good
and bad. With forty inches on my block this week, I’ve learned a lot
about my neighbors and, strangely enough, socialism.
My corner of Baltimore
seems like a good place to ride out a storm. After all, innumerable cars are
plastered with Obama bumper stickers, and windows display signs like
“Universal Healthcare Now.” In essence, it’s a very liberal
neighborhood in an extremely liberal state. What better neighborhood to be in
times of need, right?
The architecture
ranges from early 19th to early 20th century row homes,
which as a result demands parallel parking. This isn’t a great inconvenience
most of the time, but with the snow, it’s an absolute nightmare. First
the clouds drop forty inches. Then the city snow plow piles another mountain
from the street onto your car.
Successfully
liberating the vehicle from its icy prison can take hours. After leaving the
spot, anyone can take the laboriously freed space. Restoring regular parking
conditions quickly requires everyone chipping in for the common good.
During this
street clearing process, my neighbors sorted themselves into four groups:
1. The
Saint (1% of the neighborhood) – Every couple of blocks resides a truly
amazing human being living to serve others. He’s shoveling out his
neighbors’ cars, dumping bags of rock salt down the whole street, and
passing out shovels like he owns a hardware store.
2. The
Good Citizen (15% of the neighborhood) – A caring person doesn’t
just shovel enough snow to drive away. He carves out the front and back.
After leaving his spot, someone else can parallel park without digging. If
everyone did this, normal parking would resume in a day – if not less.
3. The
Self-Interested Person (70% of the neighborhood) – This guy
doesn’t really care about helping anyone. He carves just enough in the
front to get out. The next person must dig before parking.
4. The
Malicious Creep (14% of the neighborhood) – Instead of shoveling snow
to the curb, the creep stacks snow onto his neighbor’s car. This saves
the creep approximately fifteen minutes while adding an hour to his
neighbor’s work.
While my neighbors
love Obama and universal healthcare, they obviously aren’t such good
socialists on their own block. This is no surprise; everyone on earth is an
armchair Mother Theresa. We all have noble thoughts at the coffee shop or
over beers. But when the snow shovel has to come out, so does the truth.
So let’s
face it. Universal healthcare supporters are much like the folks on my
street. There are a couple of saints, a few good people, and a large chunk
who are either self-interested or just plain selfish. Most support it either
because they will benefit directly, or they think the tax burden will not be
placed on them.
Just look at this
Gallup poll: only 34 percent believe that
healthcare reform will personally increase their costs. Gallup
also points out that most don’t think healthcare reform will benefit
them personally – hence they are supposedly altruistic. But it’s
not altruism when only 34 percent believe that they will do the shoveling.
You don’t
think this is true? Just look at the Republican Party’s anti-universal
healthcare campaign. The GOP hasn’t appealed to morality or fairness,
but instead to selfish elements among universal healthcare supporters. The
message is that the plan will cost more for everyone and your
healthcare will get worse. So far the campaign has worked.
One can speak
sweet nothings while pleasantly sitting around a warm fireplace. But in the
end, a snowy day and a shovel will always reveal the selfish nature of a
socialist underneath.
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